I'm 21. He is 35. He is gentle, calm, caring, I feel safe with him. And he promises the world to me. Promises to show me the whole wide world! And I say

yes

One year later, in September 1936, our son Hiroki was born. Chiune is away, he left for Kamchatka to solve the fight over the fishing waters between the Soviet Union and Japan, but when he returns he immediately takes the baby into his arms. We are happy, and in half a year, the promised wide world begins to open: Chiune gets a job as an interpreter in Moscow, and my sister Setsuko is going with us. We’ve already packed our suitcases and only have to lock the door when the news arrives: the Soviets refuse Chiune his visa. Chiune knows too much about the Soviets, the Soviets no longer want Chiune.

We pack our suitcases again a year later - this time we move to Helsinki, where my husband will work as an interpreter in the embassy. As the Soviets refused to issue a visa, we must take a boat to Seattle, then go to New York and, without even getting to see the city, immediately board the giant German cruise ship Bremen. I couldn’t imagine there were ships like that. It had swimming pools, cinemas, restaurants: breakfast, lunch and dinner required changing clothes. Live music: before the orchestra started playing, we had to sit at the table in fancy outfits. When someone later asked me, “How was it to be on a ship like that?" I replied, “I've been changing my outfits all the time."

After four days spent among wealthy Americans with their diamond necklaces and silk gowns, we finally got ashore and the train took us quietly to Helsinki.

What did I do in Finland? I attended French and German classes. I also learned some etiquette and dancing. Without these skills, I wouldn’t have been able to be a proper wife of a diplomat, because every day, if we didn’t invite guests to our house, we would be invited somewhere ourselves: for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea. Before dinner, diplomats discussed politics, and after dinner, dances took place. With the kimono I brought from Japan, I easily stood out from the crowd. Other ladies loved to touch the silk, sighing in disbelief, but the kimono was very awkward on the dance floor, so I had to buy some European dresses - the diplomats’ wives were given special funds for that. When I went shopping, I received many confusing questions: “Are you Chinese? Oh, Japanese? So why is your skin not yellow at all?” I started writing again.

In this flow ing gown
Of lu mi nous pur ple silk
I ac com pa ny
My hus band to the par ty
At the Swe dish Em bas

A year later, our second son, Chiaki, was born. Next year, my husband received an order to go to Lithuania and open a Japanese consulate in Kaunas. In December, just after we left, the Soviet bombs began to drop on Helsinki.

Cat, are you asleep? - I'm telling half of my life to you, and you’re asleep. You know the rest: we moved to this house on a hill, from which you can see the whole of Kaunas. On weekends, we travel to explore Lithuania, especially the seaside. I planted a couple of apple trees in the garden, and our third son, Haruki, was born - look, he’s already awake and crying in his pram.

The rain has stopped and Setsuko would take the baby to the yard, but outside, in our usually empty and quiet street, people have been gathering since the morning.

To show that I was not sleeping, but listening, I scratch my ear, stretch and jump from the windowsill on the table, then slip into Yukiko’s lap. Yukiko looks tired, anxious and… scared.